Publish a prayer

Saint Joseph

ANGRY CHILD

Jesus, once again You come to me in meditative prayer.

And in the depths of my soul, the truth, You lay bare.

For all the years with Your Mercy and Love, that I have been blessed,

one would think, I would surrender myself in humble joy for so special a Guest.

But I stand before You, then I finally kneel.

To Your holy goodness I start to appeal.

Why still do I lack human love every day in my life?

Why is it my world seems so full of struggle and strife?

Why if You truly love me and it is Your will for me, am I not yet a wife?

You reach down lovingly and clasp my hand.

And though I am angry at You, You help me stand.

You tell me to look at the horizon, I do and storm clouds are what I see.

You tell me of a future, You do not will for mankind to be.

Of a not too distant chaos and disorder, of much suffering within a century.

You ask me to pray and tell me this is why Blessed Mother [in Medjugorje] has appeared.

For those who will listen, to convert and pray, so God's plan will prevent mankind's fears.

But in my anger, I ask how can I ever have true happiness, almost as if ignoring Your request.

I still have no true spouse or true human friend and I am tired of being put to the test.

That's when You remind me of the time You reached down and held and hugged deeply,

a dirty, forlorn little girl who wanted to die.

And handed her back to me to hug and to love, forever in that moment,

Your truth changed my whole world from its own lie.

How it has been my choosing whether to open the door or close it upon You,

though You are always at my side.

How You forgive and understand my frustration and anger at You

and my trusting in You will make it subside.

My own self destructiveness is a bitter pill to swallow,

my fear and doubt and anger are part of the reason.

Wrong choices I made, other people's own fears, wounds, anger

and cruelty became a part of my life's seasons.

I then cry at Your feet.

Your loving truth is sometimes so bittersweet!

Then I feel Your Love and Mercy as You immerse me in Your Sacred Heart.

Knowing You will heal me fully and give me a new start.

I want to reach up and heal every wound for the times I hurt others, myself and most of all, You.

Your wisdom is pure and teaching me, though angry child that I am, Your Mercy and Love are true!

Angry hearts, just like mine, must learn that many of our sufferings, we ourselves reap.

Daily, if we would take all our sorrows, pains, fears and regrets to God,

our blame and anger at Him we could not keep.

That by His holy goodness and love and healing our internal storms would cease.

For Jesus is teaching us, worthy or not, God wants us to all have His Love and Peace.